Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
***Heavy post warning***
I spent a lot of time in quiet contemplation today, well as quiet as it gets in a house of two very boisterous energetic little men, contemplating friendship and what it really means to me. I have spent a lot of time in the past putting time and effort into relationships with people who claim to be my friends but I was sitting there today watching my boys play wondering if these people would still be my 'friends' if I stopped making such an effort.
My husband has said many many times in the past that I am way too generous, he claims that its one of the thing he loves about me but that I give way too much to other people. He isn't talking about financially though I am sure he means that as well, but too much of myself. I am always the first to offer help, a meal or a shoulder to lean on and quiet often will invite people over to share a meal. But today I thought about how often this is reciprocated. Please bare with me because I don't want anyone to read this to think that the only reason I do these things is to get something back because that is the absolute last thought going through my head at the time but a part of me wonders if I am being taken advantage of, how much I would mean to people if that wasn't a part of my nature and why after years of knowing some of our 'friends' we have never been invited around for a meal, how the "we should get together" or the "we should have you around for dinner" never eventuates and the contact is always initiated by us.
Normally I don't mind, I love to give, love to help, love to feed and love to love but today as the end of the year draws nearer I can't help but find my mind wondering. It has been a rough few years for me, the constant pressure I put on myself to be there for everyone else, to appear as if all is perfect, when inside I am breaking apart, is starting to wear me down and I asked myself today if anyone actually appreciate what I do for them or do they just take it for granted that I will continually put myself out there for them, continually put myself last.
Are the offers of friendship and help just platitudes made because people feel like they have to say something? Is this just a sign of the times, along with people neglecting to RSVP to events, is this just something I should learn to live with or do I need to evaluate my "friends"?
I am not a child or a teenager that needs to have a lot of friends to be okay with myself but the friendships I do have I would really like to feel like they are equal, ones where I am not the only one giving. I do have some very special people in my life who I know without a doubt love me for me and not what I do for or give them but I wonder about the rest. Do I continue to give in the hopes that one day they will give back or do I pull back from those relationships and let them do some work.?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Okay so if you read my blog or know me at all you will know that I do NOT garden, I kill plants! I grow weeds really really well but thats about it. So I have no idea why, when my wonderful Mother-In-Law and my children expressed a desire to create a veggie garden down the side of our house in some space we pretty much ignore, I gave in and said yes but agree I did and today after a trip to Bunnings for some plants, potting mix and a few other bits and got to work on this space
Removing the fountain
Clean up around it our ‘pot’
Getting the soil ready
Adding the potting mix
And finally getting to plant our goodies
Watering them in
Organising a special spot for our tomatoes, peas and beans
So we now have Parsley, Basil, Chives, Lettuce and Carrots in our pot
and down along the fence
we have tomatoes
I just have to keep it all alive :o)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Linking up with Kristy over at Paisley Jade for “Things I’m loving” who says
“I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what is happening in your life, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is.”
So here is the biggest thing I am thankful for at the moment
This amazing man, my husband Louis
He is an incredible man, a wonderful father and husband and my best friend.
I am so thankful for everything he is and all that he does, the love he gives and the joy he brings.
But mostly I am thankful that he came into my life and loved me
I was on Pintrest the other day and saw this Pin
But I wonder right now after getting some unsettling news about my husband’s health whether or not I really want this test to be part of my/our/his testimony.
Until we know more its a case of “life as normal” but I have these moments where the worse case scenario hits me like a punch to the stomach.
I know that God has a plan for Louis and for our family but I want to question why this would be placed in front of us, why do we have to feel this pain and uncertainty? I know that there are people who have have had to deal with things more horrible than what has been placed in front of us right now and that we aren’t the only people who have faced things like this but part of me wants to rail against it. I want to scream and cry and question why. Why this, why us, why now, why him??? Part of me knows that God will get us through this but I want to be selfish and I want him to be 100% okay and well. I want to keep him with me for as long as I can. This is the man I love, the man who has supported and loved me, the father of my children and my very best friends and I want to stomp my feet and scream that its not fair and I don’t want this to be a part of our testimony.
I am trying to place this in God’s hand and to lean on him but sometimes I find this the hardest thing in the world to do. This test is certainly a big one, one I don’t want but I have to have faith that God will carry us though.
There are so many versus in the bible that say that His plans are for our benefit but its so easy to forget when faced with tests like this. What do you do to help yourself keep you faith in God and his plans for you/those you love when faced with tests?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Very early this morning I received the call we had been waiting for. One of my best friends had had her baby during the night.
Welcome to the world Fianna Dianne
As your ‘Aunty’ I promise to love you like my own, gang up on the boys with you, spoil you endlessly with girly things, be the one you talk to when you can’t talk to your Mum, the one you run to when you think your parents are horrible, help you heal your broken heart and celebrate your joys.
I know that your big brother Myles loves and adores you already and your ‘brothers to another mother’ Michael and Zachary love you as well and can’t wait to spoil you.
one very smittened Daddy
One very happy Mummy
Saturday, October 8, 2011
I am so glad to finally be able to share what I was working on this week. I had a baby shower today and the boys had a birthday party so I got to spend some time working on lots of girly goodies here is a look at what I made
Baby Shower Gift
Floor mat/change mat
All wrapped up
(sorry about the photo quality it was after midnight when I finished)
That has been my creative space this week, to check out some very clever people click right here